Danny's science experiment
by mabelreid
Summary: Post 4.01 Danny decides to try the condom spray on his own before using it with Lindsay.  Not the brightest of ideas!
1. Going Solo

_A/n hello everyone. So I couldn't get that condom spray scene out of my head and this story wouldn't leave either, so here you go. Let me know what you think. This will be two chapters, the next chapter to be added soon._

_Disclaimer: I don't own CSI NY or Condom Spray. No copyright infringement is intended. _

_**Going Solo**_

Okay… so was she hinting or was she messing with him? This question that went around, and around in his brain for the entire train ride home, it pushed everything else out of his mind, including the strangeness of the case they'd had. Sex on the torch of the Statue of Liberty, that was just weird! And the blood on Lady Liberty's face, it was sacrilege! What was wrong with some people?

He looked at his watch and sighed at the hour. He stretched, crossed his legs and shifted his messenger bag to the empty seat next to him.

The train tunnel flashed by in darkness, while the shrieks, and rattles, and clash of steel on steel, lulled him into falling asleep, then a flash of light from the bulbs in the tunnel yanked him back upright with a jerk.

The man sitting at the other end of the train glared at him for no apparent reason. Danny shifted so that the man saw his badge and the joker got up and left the car. Two women about his age were giving him the eye but he ignored them. They were cute, but all he could think about was Lindsay. She was finally back to her old self, as evidenced by her less then subtle hint in the lab. But was it a hint, or was she screwing with his head, he wondered for the hundredth time.

_Stop thinking about screwing! _

There was no way he was actually contemplating what he was contemplating at that moment. He trusted German engineering about as far as he could throw it. Okay… so they made great cars, but contraceptives. No… it wasn't a possibility… was it?

His head was shaking back and forth in denial, and the two women were still trying to catch his eye. The fact was she'd spoiled him for other women. She was passionate, kind, giving and sexy as hell. He didn't deserve her.

The problem was that she was adventurous enough not to flinch if he decided to "experiment" with the condom spray she left in his pocket. It was in his pants pocket at the moment, and he slipped one hand in to touch the innocuous little canister. It was smooth, and warm to the touch from contact with his body heat. What would if feel like when sprayed on…

_Okay… let's not go there till you're home. Do you want to freak out the women across the aisle and get arrested? Try explaining that one to Mac, or Stella, or anyone else in the lab including Lindsay. _

The train jerked to a stop at the next station and the women headed for the exit. The tall, blond one winked at him over his shoulder and he sighed. There was a time he would have followed her out the doors of the subway, but those days were over. He was happy about that; life was simpler now that he had one woman in his life.

The train started up again, and there were three more people on the train from the previous stop. A hugely fat, African American man, a very small, white, red haired woman who sat down right next to him despite the fact that there were a dozen empty places. The last person was a teen-aged boy with long dark hair and a skateboard in one hand.

The next stop was his, and he stepped out into the noisy station, pushing past five other people getting onto the train. Transit cops were hauling a homeless man out of the station. It smelled like the man had emptied his bladder against the wall. There was a Hispanic man sitting on a wooden stool and playing the saxophone. The gold of the instrument gleamed off the dim and flickering lights. When would they get all the subway lights working at the same time? They seemed to be forever on the fritz. He wouldn't have it any other way.

He jogged up the stairs to the street and turned left. It was a one block hike to his apartment. His hands were beginning to sweat and he rubbed them hard on his jeans. One hand brushed the pocket that held the canister and he yanked that hand away.

_Why am I even thinking about doing this? _

The door to his apartment building was in front of him. He went up the stairs and opened the door with his key. He decided not to wait for the elevator and took the stairs instead, two at a time. He suddenly felt the need to be inside of his own space. It felt like someone was chasing him. The door slammed behind him, and he dropped his badge and gun on the table.

_Okay… just think of it as a science experiment. _

Yeah… that'll work. He was so glad that Lindsay wasn't here. She and Stella were stuck at the lab finishing up on the case. Mac had sent him home; he still thought Danny needed to be babied after the ordeal with the Irish mob. His hand was in perfect working order as he was about to demonstrate.

_God… he was actually going to do this. What if he had an allergic reaction? What if it got stuck in place? _

He dropped his left shoe on the hardwood floor, and began to imagine a humiliating trip to the emergency room. He pulled the small canister out of his pocket, and stared at it while he went to his bedroom. This was crazy!

_Okay Messer… if you're really going to do this you better get comfortable. _

The desire to laugh uncontrollably welled up in his chest. Why was he so hesitant to try something that had obviously been tested on some hapless college students and found to be effective?

_That was comforting! _

His socks were on the floor and he was sitting on the bed before he realized he'd moved. This was ridiculous. He unbuttoned the shirt he wore and threw it on the floor next to his shoes. He'd lost his mind; he wasn't going to do this. His pants and boxers joined the pile on the floor and he lay down on his back. Okay… his cell phone was on the bedside table within easy reach should he need to call an ambulance. The next thing he had to do was think of something arousing. Normally spanking it was fun; today it was a real chore.

_Think of something sexy. Think about Lindsay. _

Okay good, got a picture of Lindsay in his head. Unfortunately even her smiling face wasn't doing it for him, He began to stroke mini Messer, but mini Messer wasn't cooperating at all.

_I need something more stimulating. _

He wished he hadn't got rid of his porn collection when he hooked up with Lindsay. His hand was still trying to stroke some life into his uncooperative cock, nope… not even a twitch. How could this be, it's not like he hadn't been doing this on and off since he was thirteen. Well they say it happens to all men eventually. Not to him though, he was the exception to the rule and he was going to prove it.

He was striding into the bathroom thinking about a nice, warm, relaxing shower when his brain succeeded getting through to him.

_Hello Genius, you have to let the spray on condom dry! Running water isn't conducive to drying anything. Try thinking with your head, and I mean the one on top of your shoulders, not the one between your legs, that melon up there on your shoulders isn't just for decoration, you know._

He stopped just before turning on the hot water. His brain was right, what was he thinking. He looked around, and decided to try it in here, maybe lying down was preventing the blood from getting to where it needs to go.

_Yeah… like your brain, you're not using it. Why are you even doing this? _

He ignored that annoying voice in his head, and began to try and think of the night before when Lindsay had showed him lots of new uses for chocolate syrup and blindfolds. Her mouth was the most creative orifice he'd had the pleasure of feeling on his body. He'd give anything to feel that mouth on his cock right now, her tongue licking the head, her small hands stroking the base and driving him wild.

_Damn… there might have been a twitch. _

He looked down hopefully and mini Messer was still flaccid and soft as a stick of butter left out on the kitchen counter all day.

Hey… didn't they use butter one afternoon when it was raining and…. Damn… why wasn't this working? He was trying too hard. That was the problem. He picked up the can of condom spray and read the directions. Maybe the manufactures have printed some tips on the can? He held it up to the light and squinted at the can.

He was concentrating so hard on the can; he didn't hear the door to the apartment open or the creak of the floor outside the bathroom door.

"Danny… I've been calling you... what are you…"

He whipped around and wished the floor would open up and swallow him. This was just to humiliating to be born.


	2. A helping hand

_A/n wow… I'm stunned at the response to this. I'm very happy that you all got a good laugh from the last chapter. Here is the second and last chapter. _

_Disclaimer: Nothing recognizable is mine._

_**A helping hand. **_

He stood there in the bathroom naked, with the can of condom spray in one hand, and mini Messer in the other. Lindsay began to chuckle, and then to laugh as his face went white, then the color of candy apples at the fair. He dropped the can on the floor and let go of his stubborn cock.

"What are you doing?" She demanded unnecessarily between snorting laughter.

"That's great Montana… laugh it up. This was your idea remember."

He pushed past her and hurried into his bedroom. "I don't recall ever telling you that I wanted to walk in on you getting a little somethin'-somethin' all by yourself. That's not a fantasy I want to indulge." She was still giggling, but at least she was as red-faced as he was.

"You were the one that stuck that can in my pocket at work." He pointed out, pulling on his old terry cloth robe and throwing her a disgusted look. His face was still red but now the color was closer to a mild sun burn.

"Well yeah… but I thought we try it out together. I didn't think you were such a horn dog you had to give it whirl on your own." She sat down on the edge of the bed and toed off her shoes.

"I'm not going to use that stuff with you without a test run first. I don't even know how to take the damn thing off if it does work." He stood across the room from her, leaning against the wall and frowning.

"I'm sorry Danny I just thought we could try it out and…"

"Sure, easy for you to say. You're not the one that has ta put that stuff on." He shot back looking at the floor.

"Hey… I'm the one that has to trust the reliability of that stuff too, you know." She reminded him, and he looked up in surprise. Somehow that thought hadn't occurred to him during his rush to figure out how to use it.

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinkin' straight." She'd taken off her socks and was removing her shirt one button at a time… very slowly.

"I'm sorry Danny. I didn't mean to embarrass you." She got off the bed and went over to where he was holding up the wall.

Her hands went to his shoulders and she kissed him softly, brushing her lips over his. Her breath was minty, and her bra clad upper body pressed into his chest.

She pulled back and whispered. "I noticed you were having trouble with junior. Why don't you let me see what I can do with him?

Her hands close around him and his previously uncooperative cock began to twitch to life under the soft and slow strokes of her hands.

"Fuck… Montana…" He breathed.

"Yeah… I agree. Why don't you fuck Montana?" She said softly. Her mouth found his neck and her tongue made little circles on his skin. Little hairs on his neck stood up, and he groaned when her hands found his "friend" again.

"Baby… ya gotta stop." Her hands continued to slid up and down his painfully hard length. There was something he had to do. What was it? He couldn't remember, his brain was turning to a pleasant, light-headed mush. Then something terrible happened! Lindsay pulled away from him and left the room.

"Montana… what the hell are you trying to do… kill me!" He whined.

She sashayed back into the bedroom, the canister of condom spray in one hand ,and her pink lace bra in the other.

"You didn't forget about this, did you." She waved the can at him as he advanced on her.

"Yeah… I did. How about we just forget about the new toy and get down to business." He asked blandly, but his eyes were twinkling.

"Nope… why don't you lose the robe and make yourself comfortable."

"Montana…"

"Where's your sense of adventure." She grinned and he sighed loudly. His robe hit the floor and he climbed onto his bed and sat back against the headboard.

He smirked at the hot, predatory lust in Lindsay eyes as they traveled up and down his body. "See something you like Linds."

She shook herself and climbed back onto the bed. She leaned over to brush her lips over his mouth. Her bare breasts pressed into his chest. Her tongue was swirling around his mouth and her hand was back to stroking his aching cock.

"Slow down Montana, or we ain't gonna get a chance to see if that stuff works." He groaned, not believing he was actually telling her to stop.

She pulled away with an adorable pout. "Fine… you want to do the honors… or should I?"

"You do it." He grinned.

She shook the can and leaned down, pressing the nozzle on the canister. Danny yelped when the spray hit him.

"You ok Cowboy?"

"Yeah… just tickles that's all." He snorted and she laughed.

"There… I think that's enough. Now the directions said to let it dry for a few moments. What are we going to do in the mean time." She asked coyly, fingering the nipple of one of her breasts.

"Why don't I show you." He responded with a growl.

"Nope… I think I've got a better idea." She wriggled away from his hands and got off the bed. She went to the stereo and added a CD. The Scorpions began to sing "The Rhythm of Love." She began a slow bump and grind routine. Her hands ran over her breasts and he watched the nipples rise and harden under her fingers tips. Her hands slid up and down her bare torso and he groaned.

"I think its dry." He insisted. "Stop teasing me and get over here!"

The zipper of her pants whispered down and she pushed them to the floor. Holy God… she was wearing a pink lace thong. She turned her back on him and swayed back and forth to the music. "Jesus Montana… I'm gonna burst if you don't bring that luscious ass over here."

She giggled and looked at him over her shoulder. "Patience is a virtue Cowboy."

He swore loudly and she laughed. Her thong hit the floor and she turned to climb on the bed. He grabbed her and rolled her over on her back.

"I think it's dry enough." She said grabbing him. He pulled her hand away. "Nope… we're done with games." He informed her.

She gasped when he entered her. "What's your hurry Cowboy…" His mouth covering her's cut off any more protests. He pulled out from her hot wetness, dragging the his tip over her sweet spot.

"God… Danny…"

He grinned down at her and pushed back inside. His mouth found one of her breasts and he flicked his tongue over it.

"Danny…"

"What do you want… cowgirl?" He asked after releasing her nipple.

"Don't stop…" He shifted and began to thrust into her, moving as slowly as he could despite the burning need to pound into her until they both blew apart.

"I know you like that…" He found the other breast and sucked on it. The condom spray and its efficacy was forgotten in his primal need to have her.

Her hands were dragging painfully through his hair, and her mouth had found the one spot on his neck that could stop all rational thought. He never understood why wolves, or hawks, or even some humans could mate for life, till she walked into his life. He was her missing half and she was his. His body and his heart knew it, and so did his brain. He shouldn't have tried this without her.

He listened to the dictates of his heart and his body by picking up the pace. "God… Montana you feel so good." His hands roamed over her upper body while his tongue left her breast and found a specific spot just under her collar bone.

She tightened painfully around him, and his heart rejoiced at her panting breath on his shoulder and her small cries that turned to wails as she crested and peaked.

"Danny…"

He thrust twice more into her warm wet core, and then it was over in a bright surge of blinding pleasure. He lay breathing heavily into the spot between her heaving breasts. He pulled out of her and shifted off her small body. He turned over his back and pulled her over with him.

"That was some science experiment!" He commented when his breath had slowed enough to allow him to talk.

Lindsay kissed his sweaty forehead and laughed. "Yeah… I'd say that was one of my more brilliant ideas."

"Hey… you only gave me the stuff.. I decided to use it." He pointed out.

Then a look of utmost horror crossed his face. "Oh fuck… what if it broke, or I can't take it off or -"

Lindsay put a finger to his lips. "Stop panicking and take a look." She said logically, trying not to laugh at him.

She pulled away from him and he looked down very carefully. "Well… what do you know… it didn't break. Thank God for that!" He jumped up and got off the bed. He strode naked out of the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" She called after him, while crawling under the covers.

"I'm taking this thing off and getting rid of it." His voice came from the bathroom down the hall. She hoped it came off without a problem. He was going to be pissed if they had to go to the emergency room. She listened and no sounds came from the bathroom.

"Danny… you okay in there?" There was no response. Was he okay?

"Danny… answer me, you're scaring me."

"Relax Montana… I'm fine." He strolled back into the bedroom with a bottle of wine, two glasses, a notebook and a pen.

"Jackass…" She muttered and he grinned. "What are you doing with the pen and paper?"

He climbed back into bed with her and poured wine into the glasses. "It's simple. The experiment was a success, and as you know a good scientist must record their findings."

"Very funny…. does this mean you're going to keep using the condom spray."

"Hell no… too much stress. I'm going back to the old fashioned kind." He waggled his eyebrows and said. "Come on… a good experiment needs a control. What do you say to round two?"


End file.
